Future Home?

Going to San Diego

Steve and I are driving to San Diego this morning to watch the Padres play the San Francisco Giants. Why are we driving six hours to watch a baseball game?
Well...
Barry Bonds may tie/break the all-time home run record. Sure, Barry Bonds is a stupid prick. But the record is bigger than he is. If Steve and I get to see this happen, it's something I could tell my kids and grandkids about (or dudes at a bar).

We'll be gone Saturday and come back late Sunday as we're catching Sunday's afternoon game too.

I'll be wearing a Penny Arcade Fruit Fucker t-shirt. Isn't that the best shirt ever for this event? (I will now explain why and ruin all the fun of it) See, Barry Bonds uses steroids but will never admit to it AND he's a fucker. And Fruit Fucker is a juicer. Juicer being a synonym for someone on steroids. Also, Fruit Fucker is indeed, a fucker.

I know you're all beside yourselves with laughter now. Feel free to take a break, get a drink of water and breathe deep before you head out to the rest of the Internet hinterlands. Adios.

New Treds

I took a bold step into a new world last night. That's right, true believers. I bought a pair of Converse. Good bye running shoes of yore, with your ultra thick cushioning and your sometimes stifling comfort. Hello hip kicks with the interesting colors. I got Navy Blue shoes. I think they look all right. And my feet are getting used to the new tires.

My roommate is out in Europe for a month. Which is nice because I don't have to worry about having a roommate for a month. It's basically like I bought the house. Temporarily. Rachael's been over more often cause I don't feel bad about making Janel think she's acquired a second roommate.

We've been a lot better about eating in. I'm getting old. (Already old, Rachael would say) I'd like to start eating healthier or at least acquiring healthier habits now before I start putting on the pounds with impunity. So I'm proud of the effort we made last week.

Last Day of July. Which means August is here tomorrow. Which means the hellish long days of busy busy July will be over. I imagine August will still be busy just not AS busy. I appreciate that.

I better finish getting ready. Laters.

Life of a Beta Male: Weekend Edition

With apologies to Mr. Ellis and NPR, I present to you....my weekend.

Friday:
I am the only person on my team working today. So I'll probably clock in a normal eight hours instead of the 10 I've been pulling down all of July.

After work, I'm going to the West Valley with Rachael and we're going to dinner with Jen and Casey (the aforementioned newlyweds of the Vegas story). Don't know where we're going yet.

Casey will leave us all after dinner cause Jen, Rachael and I will be hanging out until the Harry Potter release party starts. Yes, I know. A full-grown man excited about a kids book. I'm not saying it's literature. It's not. But it's fun to read. About the same level as my Star Wars books. Either way, I'm excited. I re-read Half Blood Prince to remind myself of important details prior to the new book.

At some point, sleep will occur. Probably in the West Valley instead of at my place. Because....
Saturday:
Rachael and I have a lunch scheduled with a high school friend of hers I have never met. Somewhere in the West Valley, but I don't know if they've decided on a place. I'm hoping for some good embarrassing stories from her youth. That would be great.
Later on Saturday, we're taking out Brad and Amanda to dinner. I think I'd still like to go to the Carlsbad Tavern in the East Valley. Good place, cool atmosphere, good food. Then we'll likely head back to their house and once again drool in envy over Brad's sweet ass Apple set-up. The dude works as a Genius at Apple and well.... his entertainment set up is kick ass. He doesn't get cable. He just downloads all the shows he wants to watch via torrent and keeps them on some massive Apple Mind-Hive or something.
More sleep, more likely at my house this time and.....

Sunday:
Rachael will run off to work. Poor girl having to work Sundays all the time. While she's gone, I'll either A) Finish Harry Potter if I haven't already. B) Play videogames. I'm stuck at this one boss in FFXII and I think I just need to level up/get back to a teleport stone so I can get better equipment. C) Go swimming to beat the oppressive desert heat.
Rachael gets of work and then we head out to the West Valley again to have Game Night. My hot girlfriend will proceed to cook dinner for me and her friends and serve as waitress for the evening. (she enjoys this... how great is that??!!) We will all play board games like Puerto Rico (for sure), maybe Fact or Crap, or any other games they have. I keep wanting to buy and bring Settlers of Catan since the guys at Penny Arcade speak so highly of it. Anyway it will be a great time. I'll either crash there or head home for sleep and the start of another work week.

And now you know the rest of the story....

The end of Jen's wedding tale:

Scores in Vegas, a lot less entertaining than one might think. Yes the women were hot but it was ridiculously expensive and just not all that phone. Really... I swear.
There was a weird thing where some of the men in our group were basically hitting on some strippers. A stripper talked to me for a while about her life. With no asking for money or if I wanted a lap dance. We finally decide to get out of there and....

In the cab, the cab driver kept asking us if we wanted to go to a brothel. ahhh no.
Though some of the men in the group did. Since it was my job to keep Jen's future husband away from any unnecessarily snatches (or any snatches for that matter) I said no and forced the cab driver to take us home.

Jen's wedding was great. We were supposed to go to some club afterwards and they wouldn't let us in, even though Jen had reservations and was in a wedding dress. Some jerkoff was throwing thousands of dollars around in there so she got bumped for that guy. Annoying. So Jen's brother and I walked to a liquor store, bought two cases of beer and walked back. (looooong walk)

We get to Jen's suite. Everyone's tired. No one wants to party. Here's Chris and I... thinking we saved the day... alas the day... ruined. So Chris and Chrissy (chris' wife) and I walk out to go to our hotel. But we have all this beer. We can't drink it all, waaay too much for three people. So we start handing out beers for free. We were fricking rock stars. Two thug-ass gangstas said we could hang. Some people said we were the best part of their trip. etc.

Oh oh oh I forgot. The Ice Bar Story:
The night Chris got into Vegas, he met us directly at Mandalay Bay. He immediately said we had to go to the Ice Bar. He proceeds to tell us that the Ice Bar is a magical place, a bar so cold that every thing is made of ice. Where they make you wear giant fur coats and russian hats. Where shots of vodka sluce down slopes of mini ice mountains and into your mouth. Where Buddha, Jesus and Vishnu all get smashed with you. Ok not that last part. But everything else.

We go to Red Square, the bar where the Ice Bar is, and proclaim we would like to go to the Ice Bar. We have to buy a bottle of vodka to get in. A bottle of Gray Goose: $5K or something like that... not happening. So we find a really cheap (relatively) bottle and get in. They really did make us wear giant fur coats and Russian hats. I was getting excited. Then we walk inside....

The Ice Bar is actually a tiny room. With a plastic table that looks like ice in the middle. It has old, mansion-style chairs. And it's really fucking cold. No ice mountain. Nothing was made out of ice. No deities. Our server sets out our bottle of cheap vodka. We start doing shots. The vodka is horrible but it is so cold it's hard to tell after a while. We were smashed fairly quickly which was fun. Chris and I stole a Russian hat. We put it in his backpack. We got our server to do two shots with us, even though she said she would get fired for drinking with us. (Jen held her fur coat over the door.)

Our vodka=tapped. Server gets us all together. She says she has to tell us something important. "It's very cold in here. But it's not very cold out there. When you leave, the blood is going to rush to the surface of your skin. It's going to make you extremely drunk, extremely fast. You're going to be light headed. So walk slowly and don't be ashamed to grab the bar for balance on the way out."

We kinda laughed her off. Then Jen's dad walks out. Big tall man. "holy crap!" he shouts and grabs the bar. We all start giggling. And this happens to everyone. Whoa! Grab the bar. Cue giggles. So we get out to the general area and proceed to laugh our asses off. Good times. We grabbed burgers later and I took the tram back to my hotel.

Either way, best part of the wedding trip. I will end here for now but I might have a more current post later today.

Shun the Non-Believers!

Shuuuuuuunnnnnnnn....

Ok I had a weird day today. To make the tale short, I'll just say I stuck my foot in my mouth real good doing something I thought was nice but obviously was not in retrospect.

Anyway... where was I.... right... Vegas.

One of my best friends in the world, Jen, was getting married in Vegas on St. Patrick's Day. It was her second marriage in two (three?) years. I know that sounds bad. It kinda is. But her new husband is a light years better than her first husband who was a jackass to the Nth degree.

I promised Jen two things: 1) I would be there. 2) I would take care of her husband and keep him out of trouble.

I don't know her husband all that well. We had really only met a few times tops. But I agreed cause she's essentially an adopted sister at this point. Family obligations and all that.

I get off the plane and see her husband and his best friend and his wife. H will be the husband. J will be the best friend. A will be the wife of the best friend. Capiche?

Within seconds of meeting J and A I was ready to slaughter them both. They're not bad people per sae. Just extremely annoying. and stupid. Very very stupid. J was supposed to call me about bachelor party details since it was his show. He never called. He told Jen he called me, left a message and I never called back. I knew for certain I had no call. So he checks the number. He got the number wrong and was dialing some number in New Hampshire. The stupid part is, he lives in Arizona. He was told repeatedly that I too live in Arizona. Why would I have some weird ass non-AZ area code? And when I didn't call back, don't you think he'd check with Jen to make sure the number was right.....

Anywho, H and I didn't check bags so we met up with Jen, her mom and Jen's brother's wife to get out of the airport. J and A rented their own car I believe.

The bachelor party is that night. H is all excited cause he doesn't drink all that much. This is a big deal. He's obsessed with the idea of not getting a hangover. He just has to buy a giant bottle of B-12. He needs it. He mentions this maybe... 20 times on the way to the hotel so we can drop of our carry-ons. And aspirin. B-12 and Aspirin.

Jen's ready to kill him. She's uber stressed about the wedding and her bachlorette party. I think it's just bride stuff. Like it's mandatory for her to be on edge. I don't blame her cause H is being pretty annoying.

She gets so mad she pulls over, gets out, makes Chrissy (brother's wife) drive. Does NOT want to talk to H. They chill out about it later but... adds to the stress for me and everyone else in the car too.

Fast forward to the bachelor party:
Me, H, J and Douchebag (H's other best friend) meet up at the Venetian. J is supposed to have a plan. His plan is (I'm not kidding) thus:
1. Go to Casino floor bar
2. Start gambling at the bar slot machines
3. Get "free" drinks
4. Get dinner
5. Go to strip club
6. ?????
7. Profit
8. Sleep

The free drinks idea does not work out at all. And I hate slot machines. And I don't have that much money to be wasting on games I don't like. I essentially paid $40 for two rum and cokes. boooooo. This blew most of the cash I had available for the night. I can't help it. I'm poor.

Then dinner is at the Luxor. At a place where the prices are waaaaay too high. The food was meh at best. more drinks were paid for. H obviously is not paying for anything. I was something like... $80 a person. God this trip sucked my balls money-wise. I'm still annoying by the dumbness of J and Douchebag. They spend the whole dinner talking about the joys of owning a Dairy Queen and whatever else J owns. I wanted to kill myself due to the boredom. I essentially texted with Rachael most of the time, who was having a much better time reporting on a story about high school musicals.

From the Luxor, we went to the strip club Scores. And I should probably make this part 1 of the Long No One Really Asked to Hear This Vegas Wedding Story. I'll try to be more concise in part two.

You've been on hold how long?

I've been coerced into posting again. Granted I want to, it's just me being lazy. And then getting performance anxiety (this is btw the only time I get that I swear).
I do want to go back and make those retroactive posts and I will. But to start, I'll do a cop out and fill out the silly online survey that Rachael filled out.

Stuff that you should know about me:

1. What is the middle name of the first person you ever slept with?
Rachel (weird huh?)

2. What kind of underwear are you wearing and what color?
Not wearing underwear. :D

3. What is the song you want played at your funeral?
Oooh. Good question.... Eleanor Rigby if I die alone. Pyramid Song by Radiohead otherwise. Actually play that one no matter what.

4. Would you tell your parents if you're gay?
Sure. I'm fairly certain my parents would be ok with either of their kids being gay.

5. What would your last meal be before getting executed?
Basically what I had at Steve's bachelor party in D.C. A zillion bacon-wrapped scallops, a ton of wine, a giant filet mignon, a huge basket of bread and to mix it up my mom's good dessert she makes: striped delight.

6. Beatles or Stones?
Beatles! (I concur)

7. If you had to pick one person on earth who should die, who?
Only one? Shit. That guy who made my life a living hell in middle school. Matt somethingorother. Can't remember his last name but I still wish him a life of ills.

8. Beer, wine or hard liquor?
Do I have to choose? See, THAT makes me look bad. I think if I had to I'd go beer. More variety I suppose. Wine is a close second. I really don't have a problem with liquor either though.

9. What is the most important quality your mate possesses?

Kindness/sweetness/thoughtful. It's all kind of the same thing. For a hater, she's rarely hateful. She genuinely goes out of her way to be a good person and good to people and that means a whole lot to me.

10. What are your plans for the future?
I'm a mega planner so I'll give the cliff notes version:
Keep doing this job I have either here or for someone else
Get married
Buy a house
Have kids
Kick ass
Take names

12. Do you walk around the house naked?
I would do it more often if I didn't live with someone I'm not sleeping with. I like being naked. Not in a let's go out and join a nudist colony way but a meh clothes are annoying sometimes kind of way.

13. How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?
Completely depends. I've had one beer and been all Whoa. I've had seven or eight and not really feel it. Usually though four or five does the trick for sure.

14. Where is your best friend?
My best friend is likely in Gilbert in the condo he and his wife (and temporarily his wife's sister) live in. Need to call him.

15. Hair color you like on someone you're dating?
I've always had a fascination with redheads.

16. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
I'd rather be blind. I can't stand the idea of not being able to listen to music.

17. Do you have any special talents?
More than I can count/know.;) I think I have a very long attention span, which is a talent of a kind. I have a very good memory, which helps when I do any kind of trivia related board game. I solve problems.

20. Favorite hateful thing to do to someone?
I don't think I do very many hateful things. I like to talk bad about children and the elderly. I like offensive humor. Not racist/sexist stuff but like... I dunno. Jokes about abortion and things like that.

My favorite hateful thing done to anyone ever though was when Fogg filled Pickard's clothing iron with urine. He made sure to drink a lot of water before hand too. So it looked just like normal water. Nothing like tricking an asshole into steaming piss into his dress shirts for payback.

21. First movie you can remember seeing as a kid?
The first thing that comes to my head is the Karate Kid but I think I probably saw movies before that one. I think I fell asleep too.

22. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?
Put my keys on the counter. Go to my room. Sit down at computer.

23. When's the last time you went on a date?
Wednesday is right Rachael. We went to see Knocked Up. Which was funny. And also funny cause Rachael hates birth scenes in movies and I'm amused by that. Though I do sympathize. Speaking of... I need to take you out on more dates. The heat means less of those I think.

24. Do you like horror or comedy?
Comedy! I'm not a fan or horror movies. I'm a scared little bitch.

26. Person you most wish you hadn't made out with?
Lauren. My Freshman year in college. Granted i was so smashed I couldn't see straight. She certainly did not want to make out with me. Wait, does that count then?..... If it doesn't then I'd say.... Samantha. She was a bad idea in general.

28. If you weren't straight, what person of the same sex would you do it with?
I dunno....Joss Whedon? Less to do with sexual attraction, more to do with an undying affection for all he's ever written/filmed.

29. Where do you want to live when you are old?
The Tech Castle. Or an island cabana.

30. Who is the person you can count on most?
My family. I know they're not one person but as much as whine and bitch about them, they always come through.

31. If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be?
I'm assuming past or present means dead or living. I'd go Grace Kelly. ::growl:: so hot.

32. Where was your first kiss with your mate?
Outside of the Wildflower Bread Company at Arcadia. And she giggled during it. She is a complete dork. But I love her for it.

33. Favorite drinking game?
Drink the Beer.

34. What did you dream last night?
Last night, I dreamed Rachael and I were married and living in our Tech Castle. It was kind of like her dream she blogged about in that I had a giant group of friends over. It wasn't just the nerds though. We were clearly having some sort of party. There was barbecue. And Rachael was being very domestic blissy. No family though outside of Jeff and Katie. That was the whole dream. It was basically the party. Small talk. Games were played. Movies were watched. A bunch of people went swimming. It was a boring dream in that nothing amazing happened. It was also very happy though. Left me in a very restful state when I woke up.

Speaking of...
Shazbot... this took longer than I expected. Got to shower, put some clothes (including underwear) on and get to work.

That wasn't so bad after all

After dropping off Princess at the airport, which I should say was an act of such brutal efficiency that Rachael and I should have won a gold medal in the taking a friend to the airport event, we went straight to my parents house.

At first I wanted to put off having Rachael meet my parents. I had just recently met Rachael's parents. We were both looking forward to a break from "big" couple type events. I wasn't worried my parents wouldn't like her or that she wouldn't like them. I just wanted to do things on my own schedule.

Jen called though a few days after I told my mom about Rachael and I. She ripped into me about how it's not fair that I'm not letting my mom meet Rachael before her wedding party. That it would be really uncomfortable for both Rachael and my mom to meet each other at the party. That I'm being completely immature about this and not taking mom's feelings into account.

I responded with:
A) Mom makes too big a deal over things like this
B) It shouldn't be a big deal.
C) What the hell's wrong with meeting at the party? Mom this is Rachael. Rachael this is mom. Oh look booze. And plenty of distractions.

In the end, to please my adopted sister, I agreed to talk to mom about arranging a meeting. I know it sound like I just acquiesced. I did. But it was more out of respect for Jen and her wedding party thing that I did so. Plus I talked to Rachael about it and she said it will be better just it over with too, especially if anyone was going to make a big deal about it.

We arrived at my parents house. Rachael was pretty nervous. More nervous than I thought she would be. She was welcomed by my parents' three dogs Chloe, Molly and Macey. Since Rachael was completely new, they went kind of ape shit over her. I gave her a quick tour around the inside of the house and then off to Olive Garden.

Mom chose the most crowded Olive Garden in the Valley. WTG mom. While we waited we did small talk stuff. I resolved myself going into this to tease mom quite a bit so as to take the focus of Rachael so she wouldn't feel like a bug under glass.

Basically it went well. Dad was even quieter than usual. Mom handled me teasing her fairly well. Rachael was quiet but not oddly so. She's usually shy around new people so I wasn't too surprised by that. It was good.

Rachael and I were driving back to my place. Talking about the days events. She likes my parents quite a bit, especially my dad. Knew that was going to happen. All my girlfriend's love my dad and my dad loves all my girlfriends. She said she enjoys immensely family male talk. When the men in my family start talking together, the conversation moves very quickly, very loudly with very little order. If you want to jump in you have to shout or do something to stop the hurtling train of chat. Most people find it annoying. I love that Rachael enjoys it. She got to see a good taste of it earlier on Saturday when she and my brother and I went to lunch before seeing 300.

Er...umm....ok that's all I really had to say about the parentals meeting. Check that out bitches, three blog posts in three days and we haven't even got to the Vegas posts yet. I am a golden God.

300 Spartans on a Dead Man's Chest

I can't believe how many people saw this movie and had political thoughts about it. For chrissakes, it's a sword and board snuff film. It's the equivalent of Die Hard or Bloodsport. Sure it throws in some comments about honor and warrior code and yadda yadda yadda.
Xerxes may be the gayest villain in the history of moviedom. "It's not the lash they fear...." (steps behind the Spartan king...) GROSS! It has humpbacks people! Humpbacks! As a general rule movies with humpbacks in them cannot be political.
Also any movie featuring as many decapitations as this one that is NOT about the French Revolution also cannot be considered a movie one thinks about.
Furthermore, America is not Sparta. We are not a warrior nation. We go to malls. We buy things. We have a great fighting force, true. But what percentage of our population could be part of that force right now? Probably less than one percent.
So don't get your johnson all hard on the idea that America is Sparta fighting against the invading Persian hordes in Iraq. WE INVADED THEM IDIOT! If anything, THEY'RE Sparta. I don't think they are. No one is. Remember!!! This is a silly action movie. That's it. Quit thinking about it.
::takes breath::
That being said, the nerds and I and Rachael all enjoyed the movie thoroughly. Everyone had a good time. We all enjoyed the buckets of blood and had a quick nerd circle chat about it afterwards. Then Rachael and I had to sprint away to take Princess to the airport and then go to dinner with my parents, whom Rachael would be meeting for the first time.

Too Much To Handle

A lot has happened since I last posted. I'm going to do my best to get to all of it. I promise. I swear. This will occur. This is prophecy.

I will detail the events that happened. Those events are:
Seeing the movie 300 w/ the nerds
Rachael meeting my parents
Heartfelt, emotional conversations that will probably make people gag
How I got involved with four different fantasy baseball leagues
Going to Las Vegas for my friend Jen's wedding (this will at least be a three part story)
Vague retelling of the reorg at work (I don't want to get in trouble people)
Me trying to start exercising again

The first retrospective post will occur tomorrow, likely in the morning.
Hold me to it dear readers (I like to think of you as the council of 10)

Splendiforous Baseball

It's that time of year again internets. The time when the valiant and true turn their hearts to America's national pastime. No, not football. No, not March Madness. No, not professional lacrosse. Cmon! It's baseball time.

Spring training has officially begun in both Arizona and Florida. This means I can officially skip out of work on afternoons and hang out at Phoenix Municipal Stadium and watch my beloved Oakland A's get ready for the regular season.

There's really nothing quite like sitting out by the home bullpen and watching a game. Eating a hot dog. Drinking a beer. Squaking with the catchers, pitchers and coaches out by the bullpen. Playfully teasing the right fielder all game. Brutally bashing the opposing team's right fielder all game. Craning your neck to watch long fly balls as they soar over the fence for a home run. Smoked grounders or line drives to the hot corner. A perfectly turned double play. Dirt flying through the air as a player slides into second with a stolen base. Blistering fastballs on the inside corner. The sweet arc of a 12-6 curve. The guile of a catcher and pitcher fooling a batter for a strikeout thanks to some ingenious pitch selection and performance. Fluke flair singles over the first baseman's head. An outfielder's cannon arm turning an advancing baserunner into smoked bacon. The soft thchunk and slow roll of a well-executed bunt. A batter working the count and earning a walk. Which reminds me of my favorite baseball joke:

So a Scotsman sails across the sea to America. On his first day in the United States, he heads straight to a baseball game, being his new country's national pastime and all. Duncan wanted to learn as much as he could about this "baseball" since it was so beloved by Americans. The Scotsman, in kilt and all, takes a seat behind home plate. The first batter steps to the plate and waits for the first pitch. With a crack of the bat, the batter knocks the ball into the gap in left-center. The crowd jumps to their feet yelling, "RUN RUN RUN!" The Scotsman is confused. Duncan doesn't understand what just happened exactly but everyone else seemed pretty excited about it.
The second batter steps to the plate and waits for his first pitch. He knocks the ball right back up the middle. Again the crowd jumps up and starts yelling, "RUN RUN RUN!" Duncan looks around again. He thinks he's starting to get this crazy American game.
The third batters steps to the plate. The first pitch is way outside. The second pitch almost hits the batter. The third pitch splashes into the dirt. And the fourth pitch soars above the batter's head and is barely saved by the catcher. The batter drops his bat and starts moving to first.
Duncan jumps to his feet, yelling, "RUN YOU BASTARD RUN!!!" The crowd laughs and smiles at the ignorance of their new Scottish friend. The Scotsman, shamed, sits down with a disappointed frown on his face. The man in the seat next to him takes pity on Duncan and leans over.
"You don't need to yell run there sir," says the man.
"Why not?" asks the Scot.
"Cause he got four balls," says the man.
Duncan now understands. He jumps to his feet yelling, "WALK WITH PRIDE MAN. WALK WITH PRIDE!"

FIN

So if you live in Florida or Arizona, make sure to get your butt to a Spring Training game. It's good for your health.

Meet the Parents

This edition of the Mixed CD of the Week is all about Meeting Rachael's Parents. Thus the title: Meet the Parents. Most of the songs were picked more on song title than subject so... it might not all work. Of course suggestions for more songs or amendments to the CD are always welcome and appreciated:

Yes, My Darling Daughter- The Glenn Miller Band
No Complaints- Beck
Caring is Creepy- The Shins
Neighborhood #2(Laika)- Arcade Fire
Sons and Daughters- Decemberists
Tongue Tied- Aqualung
Maggie's Farm- Bob Dylan
No Excuses- Alice in Chains
Walk This Way- Aerosmith
Mother's Little Helper- Rolling Stones
White Wedding- Billy Idol (I know this is two appearances of Billy Idol on this feature but I swear I don't like him that much! lol )
Better Man- Pearl Jam
And I Love Her- The Beatles
I Was Made To Love Her- Stevie Wonder

Vacated Premises

So my awesome roommate, the female Bob Villa, is gone for the week. Won't come back till Monday. Which means I'll be enjoying this amazing house all by myself. Granted it would be more fun if I had money. Why? Well just cause. Things are more fun with more money generally speaking.

And it's Alice's Birthday weekend this week. I got her a really awesome present which I'm sure she'll love. I'm going to wrap it in printouts of a Python script I'm working on cause I'm that big of a nerd.

She's never truly been drunk before so we're going to give it the old college try Friday. And probably again on Saturday. Fun will be had by all and hopefully the most fun will be had by Alice.

Last weekend, I had a few weird freaking out moments about the whole me and Alice going out thing. Not that us going out was bad. Just not trusting my own feelings after the crater that was my last relationship. But I took a long walk in the rain with my hoodie on and talked out loud to myself like a crazy person. And I decided I'm ok and this is a good thing. The relationship that is. I also told the Ex we need to stop talking all the fucking time at work cause it's weird and not right to Alice. This is true even though there's a greater chance that my current employer will give me a raise to an 8 figure salary and buy me a personal yacht than there is of me and the Ex ever deciding to get back together.

Conclusion: Alice and I are a very very good thing that makes me ridiculously happy. I am no longer freaking out about being happy. Boy that was easy. What took me so long.

Hands

So I've been fiddling with this playlist for the last two days. Still not done. And I'm now taking suggestions from those who can think of songs that fit the subject.

Hands. Songs about hands. Songs with the word hand or hands in the lyrics or title.

Here's what I have so far in no particular order:
Hands- Raconteurs
Hands Open- Snow Patrol
With My Own Two Hands- Ben Harper
Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See- Busta Rhymes
Palm of Your Hand- Cake
Get Your Hands Off My Woman- The Darkness
Take My Hand, Precious Lord- Mahalia Jackson
Take Me Anywhere- Tegan and Sara
I Wanna Hold Your Hand- The Beatles

The Sharpest Lives

Ahh... blog I have avoided you and I'm not sure why. Time for a standard, what has Head been up to lately post.

Monday
I was going to have a run of the mill Monday but then one of my proposals actually stuck so I had to change all my plans and work on that. That pretty much consumed my work day on Monday and Tuesday.

After work, I went over to my Mom's to go to dinner with her and my brother. Dad's out of town on business. We went to Red Lobster. I had steak and shrimp. It was ok. Not a fan of the Lob. Boring food and a boring place to eat it. Anywho, Mom's birthday is coming up.... shit... it's tomorrow actually. Shazbot! Still no present for her. Fuck me. Ok well... we asked her what she wanted and she said a Nano.

Mom doesn't own CDs. Actually I think she owns three. And one is a recent Lionel Ritchie CD. Lionel.....Ritchie. Now that someone has woken you with smelling salts I'll continue. I tell Mom that she doesn't like music and therefore doesn't really want a Nano. She says she does like music. I say who's your favorite band. ::blank stare from Mom:: I tell her that a Nano is a STORAGE DEVICE. It STORES MUSIC. and if you DON'T HAVE MUSIC, there's no point in owning one. "Oh I'll just listen to the radio then." Mom, the Nano doesn't HAVE a radio. "It doesn't?" No mom. It doesn't. "Oh well that's stupid." (thinks to himself, No Mom it's stupid to want a Nano when you have zero interest in music. Music to you is the noise that filter into your ears that stops you from thinking. You don't listen to the words. You don't know or care who plays the songs. SO WHY WOULD YOU WANT A NANO!!??? AGHHHH!! ::breaths::) I'll get you a radio Mom. Maybe a nice handheld one or something. But you don't need an Ipod of any kind. It won't make you cool.

Wow... that went a lot longer than I thought. Just drives me insane when Mom tries to be hip or something or keep up with her rich friends. It lacks in the logic.

Tuesday
Work was my project that assigned to myself.
Normally I'm supposed to play WoW on Tuesday nights. But we were essentially doing the same exact thing we did the week before. And I didn't want to do that. And since I can't see Alice much on weekdays I decided to hang with her right after work for a little bit.
We met over at the Wildflower by my house. We talked, drank soda, ate cookies of varying quality. It was fun. I'm still ridiculously retarded over Alice. And I really enjoy the feeling. She's a good thing. We part ways and I think I played Children of Mana till I got sleepy.

Wednesday
Valentine's Day. Work was a blur. Catch up work from having to do my project on Monday and Tuesday. After work was fun though.
Alice and I met up at my house. We exchanged gifts. She got some lotion and lip gloss and a book from me. She bought tickets to take us to the MCR show coming up. Which is really cool. We're going to pretend to be emo kids. Dress up and everything. I think we might even get to do field research at a local starbucks. Find out what the emo types are wearing these days. Don't want to accidentally look goth or something.
After gifts, we went out to the lake to hang out. It started pouring down rain which sucked and rocked at the same time. Rocked cause.. I love rain. It turns me on. Kinda like catnip or something. And sucked cause we couldn't walk around at first. Luckily the rain stopped about 15 minutes after we got there. It was chilly but I think we still had a good time hanging out and talking and visiting Karl The Krakken.

Thursday
Boring work. But at least I got to chat/see Alice. Went home. Ate some food. Told Jenny about me and Alice. She seemed pleased but we'll see. Jenny has really unrealistic expectations about my girlfriends. She claims that she just hated the Ex cause she was a bitch. But sorry, Jenny was the bitch in this situation. Jenny has this capacity to rewrite history in her head to suit her own desires. Whatever. She'll like Rachael. It's almost impossible NOT to like her.
I then drank some beer, played Children of Mana and passed out early.

Friday
Oh wait... that's this morning. Shit. Got to go to work. Laters.

Scintilating

I'm reading this new book, Love is a Mix Tape. It inspired me to make a regular blog feature: Mixed CD of the Week!

This week's entry is Scintilating. That's the title of the CD. So say we all.

Here's the tracklist:

Kissing the Lipless-The Shins
This Modern Love-Bloc Party
Think I'm in Love-Beck
Summersong- Decemberists
Still in Love Song-The Stills
And It Raind All Night-Thom Yorke
Juxtaposed with U-Super Furry Animals
Cradle of Love-Billy Idol
The Passenger-Iggy Pop
My Doorbell-The White Stripes
Sharp Dressed Man-ZZ Top
Party Lights-Junior Brown
Dance with Me-The Sounds
Somebody to Shove-Soul Asylum
The Sharpest Things-My Chemical Romance
Dirtywhirl-TV On the Radio
Happiness is a Warm Gun-The Beatles
Jenny Marie (Don't Go)-Cowboy Mouth
Girl Inform Me-The Shins
Underglass-Frames

Tell me what you think people.

Why I'm Better Than My Brother

See Jeff thinks he can impress the interwebs with his poorly thought out, grammatically incorrect, misspelled arguments about why he's better than everyone. I'll admit, Jeff is better than almost everyone. Everyone....except me that is.

He points out that he gets fan mail. Well, my fans love me so much it goes beyond mere letter writing. They want to spend every waking moment with me. It's the truth. Just ask Alice.

Jeff does not have Hip Slang Spelling, as he puts it. He has incorrect spelling. Jeff misspells so often that you can't even figure out what the fuck he's talking about. It's like a third grader crapped their pants and tried to make a blog post by smearing the poo on the monitor. If Poo-Smeared Monitors = Hip Slang Spelling, then I don't want to be hip. I'd rather NOT smell like poo.

Don't even step to my Street Fighter skills. Jeff used to cry and throw the controller because I'd beat him too many times. Some say you should let your little brother win a few. I say you should let your little brother know he's your bitch and always will be. Your M. Bison stays up at night having nightmares of my Ryu beating the living shit out of him.

Jeff may be an athlete now, but it was me who saved him from the bully that tried to beat him up. Jeff was playing basketball when some punk ass tried to fight him. Lil' bro was getting his ass handed to him but no worries. Dr. Johnny Waffles was on the case. I came in, pulled the guy off Jeff and proceeded to light the kid up like a Christmas tree. I left marks. Lots of them. Beat the kid so bad his parents called to complain about the whooping. When my parents told them their son had it coming, they understood. After all, they didn't know it was ME who did the beating. When they found that out, they apologized and thanked my parents for giving their son the honor of getting the crap beaten out of him by someone like me.

I don't kill Noobs in WoW. I'm the founding member of Al-Anoob, an organization dedicated to stopping the wanton slaughter of noobs. I gently guide the noobs in the world to safety.

Jeff would like to say that reading is overrated and that this fact is proven by science. Since Jeff is barely literate and only knows enough about science to say that stove=hot and hot=burn, I think everyone can agree he doesn't know what he's talking about. It's the illiterate ramblings of my younger sibling that are aligned with the god-fearing types, the knuckle-dragging creationists and the mouth-breathing Bible thumpers.

Jeff says he's kinder than me. But when was the last time he bought a homeless man a sandwich? Huh? Cause I do it everyday on the way home from work. I give homeless people warm hot meals and drive them to a safe place where they can sleep and take a hot shower.

Jeff, he says he helps horses. I help people. Do you love horses more than people Jeff? DO YOU? I bet you cried when they had to put down Barbaro. But I don't see Jeff crying over the poor, the homeless, the meek of the Earth. I do. Every day. Cause I care.

Whenever Jeff can pull himself away from using horses to stomp homeless people to death, maybe he can come to grips with the fact that I am clearly better than him.

Billy Idol=Not Simple Minds

I had quite the amazing weekend. Rachael came over around 5 after work on Saturday. I led her on a quick tour of all the webcomics I regularly check out. Then I slightly reluctantly showed her World of Warcraft. Showed her how it works, what you do, all the various doodads and whatzhits. Then it was off to Werner's b-day party.

The nerds all seemed to approve of Rachael, which while unnecessary, still a good thing. I ate a few handfuls of carrots from the veggie tray and had a soda but that was it. No chili or dessert for me cause my stomach started acting up again. Still, lots of fun was had. Malone brought over Guitar Hero and we all rocked out on the Werner's projector screen. I think it's basically Malone, me, Shaun and Freeman when it comes to GH-Rock God Status. Malone is like Hendrix on that shit.

Cute thing that happened while the boys were rocking:
Werner's little boy Rand walks over to Rachael. Rachael was sitting in a chair watching us all be silly nerd boys. Rand just hops onto Rachael's lap and proceeds to chill out for the next hour or so. Totally out of the blue. He's about a year and a half old and just started walking. He's a button. No one could explain Rand's love for Rachael but it was palpable. He even fetched her little toy balls and then go right back to sacking out on her lap. Adorable. Reminds me that I need a digital camera.

Example of Me being Me:
I don't know how it came up but someone tried to say that Billy Idol sang Don't you forget about me on The Breakfast Club soundtrack. So not true. And I knew it. I said so but duder (think it was Will) refused to believe me. Said he knew that was Billy Idol. So I whip out my crappy cell phone, pull up the web, google "Don't you forget about me" and find a wiki article about the song. It says that Simple Minds NOT Billy Idol played the song on the soundtrack. Billy Idol covered the song but I knew that cause sadly I own the Billy Idol's Greatest Hits CD. I win. AGAIN!

Anyway the nerds all started playing poker and I didn't have money and neither did Sugarpants so we hit the road. The night concluded with Rachael's first time seeing Rear Window. She hearts. Which duh of course she does. It's amazing. As was my weekend. Sunday was sleeping and super bowl and that's about it. But when Saturday was that good, it pretty much doesn't matter what happened Sunday.

Silly and Anxious

I've been sick the last few days. Really stinks. I'm still in that phase of a new relationship where everything is amazing, awesome and wonderful. And I've had to spend the last day not enjoying it. I'd say last two days but Rachael was sweet and came over Thursday night to watch a movie with me. (Almost Famous)

Today she meets the Nerd Clan, none of whom have blogs. At least that I know of. It's Werner/Reqk's 30th birthday bash. It should be a blast. The nerds are very kind even if they think they're mean.

Before that though I have to go shopping at Safeway. I need a few things food/toiletry-wise. Then I have to shower and probably should shave my stubble. Felt lazy the last few days since I was sick and decided not shaving would be my reward for feeling like crap.

Hopefully my roommate goes out again tonight. Would be nice to have the place to myself again. mostly.

The Rear Window Theory

Ok since it's related to the more interesting news as of late, I will explain the Rear Window Theory on relationships.

First, Rear Window is a movie by Alfred Hitchcock released in 1954. It starred Jimmy Stewart and Grace Kelly (::swoon::). Stewart played a photographer for a magazine who is laid up in his apartment with a broken leg. The insurance company sends a nurse to his place every day to make sure he's doing ok. (Kinda funny to think about something like that now) Stewart is dating Lisa Carol Freemont (Grace Kelly). She's a socialite and drop dead gorgeous. She's obviously crazy for Stewart's character.

The plot of the movie surrounds Stewart's character peeping on his neighbors when he
sees one neighbor acting suspiciously. Action ensues. (don't want to ruin the movie)

Anyway, the Rear Window theory is based on something the nurse says to Stewart.

Stella: Look, Mr. Jeffries, I'm not an educated woman, but I can tell you one thing. When a man and woman see each other and like each other, they oughta come together--wham!--like a couple of taxis on Broadway, and not sit around analyzing each other like two specimens in a bottle.

It's so simple! And so true! I've thought a lot about how men and women muck up relationships and/or dating by making it to complicated. You like a girl? Yes. She likes you? Think so. Then say something you idiot! Don't just spend hours on end analyzing all the possible outcomes.

So the theory is essentially keep it simple when it's simple. Don't let irrelevant reasons outside the connection between two people stop you from action. And don't fret so damn much.

Now do I even follow the rule? Hell no. But I'm working on it.

I am a Wicked Child

I'm now officially dating Alice/Rachael. Discuss.

Ok now that's out of the way and I'll talk about my weekend in San Diego. I left work about 3 p.m. and arrived in San Diego like... 9 p.m. or so. Steve's dad bought the group (being Steve, his mom and dad and the weird friend of his dad that Steve and I did not like) dinner.
Dinner was good but I was exhausted so Steve and I went back to his place and talked then crashed. It was cool though. We had the adult version of the conversations we had in high school. We really bonded again. It was awesome. I'm glad he's my best friend in spite of all the years and different experiences we've had between the two of us.

Then Saturday was spent all day on the Princeton, the guided missile cruiser ship he's on. We got to see a lot of cool stuff such as:
A navigation briefing
A submarine coming into harbor
The USS Reagan aircraft carrier at close range
Helicopters and Prowlers (a plane that engages in electronic warfare) flew by
And my favorite, the combat control center

We also had a "Steel Beach Picnic" which means a BBQ on the ship's helopad. It was fun. A great time was had by all. Steve's dad tried to get me to hit on some cute lieutenant, which annoyed me. I hate when people tell me to hit on women. It really annoys me. Plus I don't get to spend that much time with Steve since he's in the Navy and all. I didn't want to spend a few hours with an (admittedly cute) stranger instead.

That night we went out to dinner at this Italian place on Coronado and it was great. I had a lamb shank and the meat was so tender, I let it melt in my mouth instead of chewing it.. mmmmm. Next morning, we all went to brunch at this cafe near Steve's apt. Awesome Omelette! Following that I hit that road.

Made it back into town around 6. Immediately left for Malone's house for a nerd council viewing of Idiocracy. Great movie. I highly recommend it. It made me laugh. It was depressing. It made me want to have children.

That's the weekend my peoples. Goals for this week: Finish Breakfast Song, Submit Oath of Office to BS Council members, see Rear Window with Rachael.

Keep it real all ya'll.

The Apocalypse and Other Sundry Matters

So it snowed in the Phoenix-area. Snow... in the desert.
I saw it myself too. Driving from my parents to my best friend's parent's house. Snow clearly coming down. I wanted to pull over to the side of the ride and freak out.

Clearly this means the end is very seriously nigh. Should I be sad the world is coming to an end? Did anything really get accomplished? Way to go humanity. We had thousands of years to get something done and instead we drew on cave walls and watched videos in the internet.

Still can't find my DVDs from the move. This is really frustrating. I wanted to watch Rear Window or Philadelphia Story tonight but nooooo! Fuckers!

Weekend matters:
Friday I went with Alice and Rachel to the movies. We saw Pan's Labrynth. I think we all agreed it was quite the enjoyable movie. That makes two for two on good movies I've seen with Alice and Rachel. Three for three if you count the Friday Alice and I saw the new Bond, also awesome. I'm getting perilously close to saying I should only see movies with one of the two or both at the same time. Cause.. so far the record is exemplary.

Saturday I went to my parent's house to pick up laundry my mother insisted on washing for me. I also took Dad to lunch cause he was lying on the couch watching TV. He looked bored. I felt like being a good happy son. We went to a Chase's Diner in Mesa/Chandler. I hadn't been since I lived in Gilbert with the Ex. It was just as good as remember it.

Sunday I was supposed to see Steve and Heather. But dude forgot to tell me he wasn't going to be at his parent's house till later in the afternoon. I arrived at noon and was told by his dad that was the story. So I hung out with his mom and dad for a bit. They're like my second set of parents anyway. Even though they're raging conservatives and sometimes I think his dad wants to kill me cause I'm so liberal, I still enjoy their company and had a good time. I watched the first half of the Bears Saints game and then went to my parents.
Once at my parents, I raided their fridge. I pretty much made a pig of myself which I rarely do. I ate the rest of their ice cream (out of the carton no less), finished the box of English Muffins, had a sandwich, drank a bunch of their milk/water/juice and had some chips. My stomach hurts just reading that.
At five I went back to Steve's to sign the waiver agreeing not to die of a heart attack while partying on a naval vessel. I had to take off quickly though to make Jen's birthday dinner at her house.
Dinner was great. Steak was tasty. We watched Dodgeball afterwards cause it was on. Jen was sick so she was kinda of bitchy/cranky. But I totally understand and know that she gets like that when she's sick. I still had a good time. Even though her house is out in Buckeye and I feel like I should get on a plane to get there.

That's it really. That's the weekend and the apocalypse and other sundry matters. If the world is still spinning and orbiting the sun, I'll be around.

Like the corner of my mind

An ode to my previous home (I like my new place much better but figured it's a good idea to remember what I left)

Oh Park of Hayden
How I will miss
Your many facets

The constant traffic
Both mechanical and pedestrian
Like a polluted stream

The first night; auspicious
The drunk, woman beater upstairs
Shattered the front window

Two cars broken into
In two years
Why steal cell phone accessories?

What better way to wake at 2 a.m.
Then to hear drunken girls peeing
Outside my bedroom window

The Betos, ever present
Greasy taco smells
Greeted me every morning and evening

Goodbye temporary home
I shared with my cold-hearted Ex
May you be burned to the ground
And your foundations salted and radiated
As a warning to future generations

LOL, I think I may be a bit bitter. Or maybe the new place is so cool that the old place really does feel like a place where war crimes were committed.

Stop, collaborate and listen.

I will fill everyone in on the move, of which there is plenty to inform.
But first I have business to take care of on ye olde blog.
My brother Jeff over at IambetterthanU.com tagged me. This means I have to tell five things about myself that most people do not know. Which will be hard. Cause I kinda share the intimate details of my life with everyone. Hence... blog. Anywho, here goes:

1. I was scared of the dark until like sixth grade... maybe even longer. I lost track honestly. It all stems from seeing the movie Poltergeist at age five. Life long trauma people. I just now am capable of watching the crappy sequels without breaking out into flashbacks. Still haven't seen the original all the way through since that first time.

2. I cannot straighten my right arm out all the way. I also cannot touch my right shoulder with my right arm. I broke my elbow in seventh grade in a tragic family tackle football game. My favorite cousin tackled me while I was reaching out with the ball to cross the "goalline" Since Brian was much older and heavier than I and since his entire body landed on my elbow, something had to give. In the process of breaking, a piece of cartlidge slid into the joint of my elbow. Every time I tried to straighten or flex my right arm, the piece of cartlidge would pop up like a door stop, preventing my progress. I had surgery to remove the cartlidge. Now scar tissue is mainly what prevents my full range of motion. Over time it's gotten better but it's still not 100%.

3. I was once quite the accomplished singer. And by accomplished I mean adults would praise Child Head for his pretty voice. My elementary school choir teacher picked me to sing a solo in the Xmas pageant/play/revue. Granted I came down with a brutal case of stage fright and ran away crying. But I got back on the horse and sang. I sang cute little boy solos in almost every elementary school choir performance the school had. Then my voice changed and I just have an average man's singing voice. I mean, I think I sing in tune better than most people. But I'm not going to be trying out for American Idol anytime soon.

4. I was stalked and had my life threatened by a convicted child molester when I was in fourth through fifth grade. The creep started by sending letters to my school to me. The school/teacher was really stupid and gave me the letters without looking at them. They were pretty graphic descriptions of what he wanted to do to me. I was little and didn't really get it thank god. I just knew it was weird. Long story, slightly less long: He kept sending letters, the police got involved, I couldn't go anywhere without an adult with me and I do mean anywhere for about two years. He threatened to kill me (didn't find that out until I was much older). I am always grateful to the post workers who caught him. He was arrested and put on trial for molesting his two nephews and threatening harassing me. I think by this time he's out of jail. If for some reason I ever ran into him in person, I'm fairly certain the amount of rage and violence I would be capable of is close to endless. Thankfully I don't think it scarred me too bad. I don't think about it very often.

5. I've totaled two cars. The first was my little Honda Civic, which I slammed into a parked car. Yeah. A Parked Car. The second was my parent's Ford Aerostar. I was making a left. I checked. I was clear. Then a speeding driver swooped around and smashed into the front bumper of the van. The Fleetwood Mac song, The Chain, was playing at the time. I haven't had an accident since then. I kinda drive like a granny now. Or at least not like a reckless bat out of hell, which is how I drove as a teenager.

Ok who to tag now:
Alice
Rachel
Amanda
Allie (though I don't even know if she reads this blog or keeps up her own blog anymore)
and............
Wynn since Matt Waite passed on tagging him last time.

Posts on the move will be forthcoming. Feel free to harass me if I don't follow through on that.

Once more into the breach

One final post from my soon-to-be former abode. So yup, everything worked out with the new place. Outlaw does not make new roommate break out into hives or watery eyes.

Other events that have happened since then:
My car got broken into. Items stolen include: my work badge, an expired membership card and my charger for my cell phone. Cost to replace my window: $185. Cost to replace charger: $20. Cost to replace badge: $8. They didn't even take my cds... which means they hated my taste in music. Well fuck them!

I finally got a python script to work that will do something cool and useful. Huzzah! Granted it took three days and lots of begging for help from some awesomely generous individuals. But it works! It's alive! I can now download the 2004 presidential results for each county in the US in about 15 seconds or less. ::does the snoopy dance of happiness::

Finished the Star Wars book I bought. It kinda dragged for a while but the last 100 pages or so were awesome. Some seriously dark and twisted stuff. Very heady. I liked it and am looking forwards to the rest of the books in this series.

Rachael burned me the new Decemberists CD and the Wolfmother CD. Wolfmother is fun but not something I would listen to all the time. The good songs though are really good. The Decemberists are amazing. Very confident band. The songwriting is exemplary and I really like the lead singer's voice. I'd like to make a mixed CD of them and Arcade Fire. They're very complimentary I think.

Ok... I'm going to eat but then I have to get packing for the move. I've avoided it as long as humanely possible. Starting with putting old clothes in trash bags to give to Goodwill. Mom and Aunt come over tomorrow to clean. Dad/Jeff/I will be moving the furniture I can't fit in the new place.

Next time: New Head HQ.

Home?

The "Find a Place to Live" search is going well. I looked at a cheap but kinda dingy place on Monday. $500 a month, which is a lot cheaper than what I'm currently paying. It would be a room in a four bedroom condo. I put my foot in my mouth though when I met the owner. She said she had all these papers she needed to file from when she owned her own practice. And since she's younger than me I thought and said out loud, "Oh are you a paralegal?"
To which she replied (and without a hint of piss) "No, I'm a lawyer. A prosecutor actually."

Oh... well don't I look like a sexist fricking jerk. But she's got me all wrong. I'm an ageist fricking jerk. Honest!

Either way, the place was ok but the price was right.

Last night, I looked at a place that was $550 a month. It was also closer to my job which is nice. Less commute=better commute. This place looked amazing though. The room was bigger. It was just really cool. Plus I didn't offend the owner. And the owner likes Buffy and knows some people from my work. Which is great on both counts.

I'm pretty settled on picking the place from last night. I have to bring Outlaw over to the place tonight to make sure the owner isn't allergic. She has a cat but apparently she's allergic to some breeds. She said she would know right away if she was or not. Outlaw better not screw this up for me. Or it's dingy $500 place I go.

That's really all I have for now. I'm stressed out and probably will be till this whole living situation is resolved.

I Have A Hard Time Taking the Easy Way

Sorry for the lack of a hangover post. I think I slept through my hangover. I normally don't sleep in but I didn't get out of bed yesterday until 11 something. Which is definitely sleeping in for me.

So my life is a whirlwind of turmoil right now. I still need to figure out why the fuck Qwest thinks I owe them money even though I canceled my phone service ages ago. Yet another potential living situation fell through. This one really pissed me off. Just to recap:

1) Living with my fiance.
2) Fiance leaves me. Live with my parent for a month while she gets her shit together.
3) She never gets her shit together so I kick her out and force her to move to SF.
4) Living in my apartment which is now just barely affordable by moi.
5) Find an apartment near my job that I can afford cause I'm poor.
6) My brother suggests I move in with him and his GF. We go house/townhouse shopping and everything.
7) Brother tells me the option will no longer work.
8) I find out that I actually am not poor enough to afford the apartment near my job.
9) My cousin tells me a friend of hers from work needs a roommate.
10) I talk to cousin's friend. She is amiable to the idea. Her ex hasn't moved out though so... I have to call her and find out when that occurs.
11) After a week of calling her everyday and becoming more frantic when I haven't heard back from her, I call my cousin. Cousin tells me that her flaky ass douchebag of a friend has decided she doesn't want to live with a guy after all. Fucker. WHY NOT FUCKING TELL ME THAT BY RETURNING ONE OF THE FUCKING CALLS I MADE TO YOUR CELL PHONE!!?!??? JEEBUS!
12) Work on breathing and not going into a murderous rage. Wish I had a metal broom handle to bash into a defunct playground like I used to do when I was a teenager and I got really angry.
13) Sign up on roommates.com cause I've come to grips with the fact that I'm too poor to live alone. Damnit.
14) Place responses to a series of ads. Arrange to see some places today and this week.

So that's where I am right now with finding a roof over my head for me and Outlaw. There's a place I really really want. But because I'm me and because things never work out I won't get that place. Noooo I'll have to live FARTHER away because I have no choice. I wanted to get rid of my commute not make it longer. But at this point I will settle for more money by getting cheaper rent. I refuse to pay more than $500 a month before utilities. Cause otherwise it's not enough of a savings from my current place. This should be possible.
But the place I really want (which, again, I won't get because I'm me and I don't get what I want) is this loft downtown. Right by work. It would be sweet. It was just bought by this guy who travels a lot and just wants someone who he won't have to worry about trashing the place when he's gone and can keep the place up. That's me. But like I said, it's not going to happen. I don't get the things I really want. With the exception of my current job. That was total shit luck though.
Things I've wanted that I don't get to have:
1) Enough money to not be considered poor.
2) A cool apartment near where I work so I don't have to commute a ton.
3) Sex
4) An attractive girl who enojys my company and enjoys sleeping with me and whom I feel the same way about. (heh not going to happen)
5) A Wii.

Feels better to get that out. I think I'll take a shower, brush my teeth, get dressed, throw some laundry in the machine and play FFXII till it's time to check out my first potential new place.

Warning Signs

oooh it's going to be a weird, sad night. I'm drinking all my beer and singing along to Itunes and blogging. There's a lot of bad places this could go. But fuck it. I feel like doing this. Silly self-indulgent behavior.

Go see Children of Men. Fantastic movie. I want see it again tonight but that's really silly behavior.

The fricking phone company is charging me for a service I cancelled two months ago. Fuckers. I'll call them tomorrow and straighten them out.

You know... drinking and singing is a lot more fun when I'm not blogging nonsensically.
See you tomorrow for my hangover post.

Voices in my head

I've spent a lot of time recently thinking about this idea I have for a book. The theme is about reality vs. fiction and how the line is a helluva a lot blurrier than people think. This is especially true lately because of the web.
On the one hand, things like blogs. youtube, facebook, myspace and such give tons of access to the personal and public lives of millions of regular individuals.
On the other hand, how do we know those are actual people, not just made up fictional characters?
Or even fuzzier, how much is person X in every day non-online life similar to person X online? Does person X even know?

And when fiction, reality, and psuedo-reality combine, what's up and down? Black or white? Doesn't the rules for everything go haywire?

There are a few examples of this kind of clash actually occurring. Most recently with Lonleygrl15 on youtube. It was a fake yes. But to the viewer who's not paying hyper-attention to things, it's believable to a degree. After the fakery was revealed, quite a few viewers said who cares that it's fake? It seems real and that's the important part.
::whoa::

Then there's JenniCam. Probably the first 24/hr webcam. Not porn either or at least if that's what people went there for, they would be really bored. It was just some girl and a webcam. On. All the time. Kinda like the Truman Show but without actors. Or was it? Her stated aim for the cam was to just let it run and ignore that it exists. But is that possible? Really? What about everyone who wasn't her that crossed paths with one of her cams? If they knew, can you really forget about it? I dunno. I really don't. I suppose it's possible. Maybe it's like absolute zero. The act of measuring it causes too much heat and makes absolute zero go away.

So what if a group of people decided to create fictional characters but instead of doing a traditional story, movie or tv show, they BECOME the characters. They blog as them. They make video blogs as them. They eat and breathe and sleep as them.

Maybe they have a set period of time every day/week/month where they get together and work on shaping a story. But if the goal is realism within a dramatic construct, it couldn't be too dramatic. At least not for a while otherwise people would see through it. There would have to be some direction to it though. Maybe not though.

Anyway...

What happens to who they were before? What happens to who they are in the act? Could people tell the difference? Could they tell the difference? When do the lives start merging? Or would they always remain separate? And what about shaping of the story? The person/persons doing that would have a lot of power. And they might have to throw in events that some members of the "cast" wouldn't be aware of to maintain spontaneity or fresh, real reactions.

I'm just musing... I need to start writing something. The actual story itself. I want to have a general direction for it though. hmm...ponders....

No tags for this entry until I think some more.