That wasn't so bad after all

After dropping off Princess at the airport, which I should say was an act of such brutal efficiency that Rachael and I should have won a gold medal in the taking a friend to the airport event, we went straight to my parents house.

At first I wanted to put off having Rachael meet my parents. I had just recently met Rachael's parents. We were both looking forward to a break from "big" couple type events. I wasn't worried my parents wouldn't like her or that she wouldn't like them. I just wanted to do things on my own schedule.

Jen called though a few days after I told my mom about Rachael and I. She ripped into me about how it's not fair that I'm not letting my mom meet Rachael before her wedding party. That it would be really uncomfortable for both Rachael and my mom to meet each other at the party. That I'm being completely immature about this and not taking mom's feelings into account.

I responded with:
A) Mom makes too big a deal over things like this
B) It shouldn't be a big deal.
C) What the hell's wrong with meeting at the party? Mom this is Rachael. Rachael this is mom. Oh look booze. And plenty of distractions.

In the end, to please my adopted sister, I agreed to talk to mom about arranging a meeting. I know it sound like I just acquiesced. I did. But it was more out of respect for Jen and her wedding party thing that I did so. Plus I talked to Rachael about it and she said it will be better just it over with too, especially if anyone was going to make a big deal about it.

We arrived at my parents house. Rachael was pretty nervous. More nervous than I thought she would be. She was welcomed by my parents' three dogs Chloe, Molly and Macey. Since Rachael was completely new, they went kind of ape shit over her. I gave her a quick tour around the inside of the house and then off to Olive Garden.

Mom chose the most crowded Olive Garden in the Valley. WTG mom. While we waited we did small talk stuff. I resolved myself going into this to tease mom quite a bit so as to take the focus of Rachael so she wouldn't feel like a bug under glass.

Basically it went well. Dad was even quieter than usual. Mom handled me teasing her fairly well. Rachael was quiet but not oddly so. She's usually shy around new people so I wasn't too surprised by that. It was good.

Rachael and I were driving back to my place. Talking about the days events. She likes my parents quite a bit, especially my dad. Knew that was going to happen. All my girlfriend's love my dad and my dad loves all my girlfriends. She said she enjoys immensely family male talk. When the men in my family start talking together, the conversation moves very quickly, very loudly with very little order. If you want to jump in you have to shout or do something to stop the hurtling train of chat. Most people find it annoying. I love that Rachael enjoys it. She got to see a good taste of it earlier on Saturday when she and my brother and I went to lunch before seeing 300.

Er...umm....ok that's all I really had to say about the parentals meeting. Check that out bitches, three blog posts in three days and we haven't even got to the Vegas posts yet. I am a golden God.

300 Spartans on a Dead Man's Chest

I can't believe how many people saw this movie and had political thoughts about it. For chrissakes, it's a sword and board snuff film. It's the equivalent of Die Hard or Bloodsport. Sure it throws in some comments about honor and warrior code and yadda yadda yadda.
Xerxes may be the gayest villain in the history of moviedom. "It's not the lash they fear...." (steps behind the Spartan king...) GROSS! It has humpbacks people! Humpbacks! As a general rule movies with humpbacks in them cannot be political.
Also any movie featuring as many decapitations as this one that is NOT about the French Revolution also cannot be considered a movie one thinks about.
Furthermore, America is not Sparta. We are not a warrior nation. We go to malls. We buy things. We have a great fighting force, true. But what percentage of our population could be part of that force right now? Probably less than one percent.
So don't get your johnson all hard on the idea that America is Sparta fighting against the invading Persian hordes in Iraq. WE INVADED THEM IDIOT! If anything, THEY'RE Sparta. I don't think they are. No one is. Remember!!! This is a silly action movie. That's it. Quit thinking about it.
::takes breath::
That being said, the nerds and I and Rachael all enjoyed the movie thoroughly. Everyone had a good time. We all enjoyed the buckets of blood and had a quick nerd circle chat about it afterwards. Then Rachael and I had to sprint away to take Princess to the airport and then go to dinner with my parents, whom Rachael would be meeting for the first time.

Too Much To Handle

A lot has happened since I last posted. I'm going to do my best to get to all of it. I promise. I swear. This will occur. This is prophecy.

I will detail the events that happened. Those events are:
Seeing the movie 300 w/ the nerds
Rachael meeting my parents
Heartfelt, emotional conversations that will probably make people gag
How I got involved with four different fantasy baseball leagues
Going to Las Vegas for my friend Jen's wedding (this will at least be a three part story)
Vague retelling of the reorg at work (I don't want to get in trouble people)
Me trying to start exercising again

The first retrospective post will occur tomorrow, likely in the morning.
Hold me to it dear readers (I like to think of you as the council of 10)

Splendiforous Baseball

It's that time of year again internets. The time when the valiant and true turn their hearts to America's national pastime. No, not football. No, not March Madness. No, not professional lacrosse. Cmon! It's baseball time.

Spring training has officially begun in both Arizona and Florida. This means I can officially skip out of work on afternoons and hang out at Phoenix Municipal Stadium and watch my beloved Oakland A's get ready for the regular season.

There's really nothing quite like sitting out by the home bullpen and watching a game. Eating a hot dog. Drinking a beer. Squaking with the catchers, pitchers and coaches out by the bullpen. Playfully teasing the right fielder all game. Brutally bashing the opposing team's right fielder all game. Craning your neck to watch long fly balls as they soar over the fence for a home run. Smoked grounders or line drives to the hot corner. A perfectly turned double play. Dirt flying through the air as a player slides into second with a stolen base. Blistering fastballs on the inside corner. The sweet arc of a 12-6 curve. The guile of a catcher and pitcher fooling a batter for a strikeout thanks to some ingenious pitch selection and performance. Fluke flair singles over the first baseman's head. An outfielder's cannon arm turning an advancing baserunner into smoked bacon. The soft thchunk and slow roll of a well-executed bunt. A batter working the count and earning a walk. Which reminds me of my favorite baseball joke:

So a Scotsman sails across the sea to America. On his first day in the United States, he heads straight to a baseball game, being his new country's national pastime and all. Duncan wanted to learn as much as he could about this "baseball" since it was so beloved by Americans. The Scotsman, in kilt and all, takes a seat behind home plate. The first batter steps to the plate and waits for the first pitch. With a crack of the bat, the batter knocks the ball into the gap in left-center. The crowd jumps to their feet yelling, "RUN RUN RUN!" The Scotsman is confused. Duncan doesn't understand what just happened exactly but everyone else seemed pretty excited about it.
The second batter steps to the plate and waits for his first pitch. He knocks the ball right back up the middle. Again the crowd jumps up and starts yelling, "RUN RUN RUN!" Duncan looks around again. He thinks he's starting to get this crazy American game.
The third batters steps to the plate. The first pitch is way outside. The second pitch almost hits the batter. The third pitch splashes into the dirt. And the fourth pitch soars above the batter's head and is barely saved by the catcher. The batter drops his bat and starts moving to first.
Duncan jumps to his feet, yelling, "RUN YOU BASTARD RUN!!!" The crowd laughs and smiles at the ignorance of their new Scottish friend. The Scotsman, shamed, sits down with a disappointed frown on his face. The man in the seat next to him takes pity on Duncan and leans over.
"You don't need to yell run there sir," says the man.
"Why not?" asks the Scot.
"Cause he got four balls," says the man.
Duncan now understands. He jumps to his feet yelling, "WALK WITH PRIDE MAN. WALK WITH PRIDE!"

FIN

So if you live in Florida or Arizona, make sure to get your butt to a Spring Training game. It's good for your health.