Doom Vanquished?

Speakers were plugged back in this morning and no squee. Watched a few Youtube vidoes... no squee. Perhaps time defeated the squee. God willing cause that sucked.

Felt a bit down Thursday and I blame Marcia. Talked to her Wednesday about the whole break-up thing and I said I don't feel sad about it most of the time. She seemed surprised I was taking it so well. Others have mentioned this too. I've been feeling odd physically lately. Maybe the two things are connected. Consciously I feel ok about it all but subconsciously I feel horrible so I get these painful headaches and my back hurts and just feel weird in general. It definitely does not feel like an illness.

To explore that theory, I tried really hard Thursday to let myself feel sad and depressed if the thoughts came up. No avoiding sad songs, no avoiding sad thoughts. It worked. I definitely felt worse emotionally today. But all the physical symptoms are still there. So it didn't work. Except now I feel like butt emotionally and physically. There goes that theory. If only Marcia had not sounded so surprised when I said I was doing ok. :)

Went out on Friday again with my old high school friend. It's homecoming weekend and she was going to go check it out but didn't want to go alone. All weekend the big LAN is going on. So I'll be out pretty late with the guys, killing each other in Halo and other FPS and maybe we can squeeze in some non shooters since I can't hit the broad side of a barn.

Maybe I'll bring my PS2 and Guitar Hero. That game is so fricking cool.

The Squeeling Sounds of Doom

I was all ready to go for a fun WoW night with the guys. I'm logged into Vent, we're getting our little ducks in a row for a run at Lower Blackrock Spire and all of a sudden.....
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Ack! WTF was that!? Apparently my speakers made an attempt on my life. At first I thought it was Vent so I changed my settings to no avail. Then I thought maybe the speakers were just plugged in funny. I wiggled and jiggled said plugs and cords (BTW this is very similar to how I fix any automotive issue, wiggle wires and pray)
It stopped for a little bit. Then 10 minutes later the SQUEE of doom comes back. I tried switching to headphones, no difference. Is it possible for a sound card to develop emotions.... Homicidal emotions?
The rest of the night was spent playing WoW with no sound which means no vent which means relying on people to tell me what to do in text form. If you've been doing voice chat for as long as our guild has, it makes it very difficult to type in tasks.
Around 9:30 I called it a night. I didn't even gain a level. ::sigh::
I read this Running With Scissors book my aunt got for Christmas last year that I've been avoiding. It's all right. It's a memoir but the guy's childhood seems too insane and thus not as interesting to me.
Anywho... I'm running late. When my family cleaned out the apartment they also took my deoderant and my razor. I have to make a trip to the store before I can even start getting ready to go to work. blech...

Tabula Rasa

This past weekend was quite eventful. My ex officially moved out of my apartment. My parents and my aunt flew into the same space on Sunday and turned the apartment into a surgical room it's so damn clean. I went out with an old friend. My cat spends a lot of time looking for said ex. Loudly. In Meow form.
Today was spent recovering since I didn't get any sleep last night and was pretty stressed out anyway.
So where do I go from here? Why is the path unclear? (ok ok I'll stop the Buffy reference)

Basically, I'm ready to do something else now. Time to start meeting new people, going out on dates, learning cool new things for work. I can't say I won't be spending a few moments or days missing the hell out of my ex and the life that was. It was a good life and worth a few mournful mornings. Or evenings. Still, it's time for me to take some steps forward and live life again.

Now if only I can manage my bills....

Where is my mind?

Ok... I need to think here for a bit so I can remember the blog posts I was thinking of writing at work.
....
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Now I remember. I had to do that mental VCR thing. Rewinding my day and thoughts until I could recreate where the ideas came from in the first place. Anywho... on with the post.

At what point do high standards=becoming a flaming jerkwad?
I recently got out of a seven year relationship. I want to move up to the next level of competition. In other words, while I don't want a relationship now or any time soon, I would like to be spending time with women who are very attractive to me and also are interesting to me say... conversation wise. Not to say my ex wasn't any of those things. I just want better. The next step up. Whatever that may be.

When does this desire cross the line into me being a jerk? Like thinking I'm better than other people. I'm worried about that. It would be easy to slide into, that mindset.
I guess if the thought even floats through my conscious than it's likely not going to happen. Also I have friends that I hope will tell me if cross that line.

So tomorrow, going out with a friend and getting my ex out of the apartment. A big day to be sure.
I like the clothes I have been borrowing from my brother. Unprincipled me says to take them.
HAHAHAHHA I am indeed an evil mastermind.

Taking care of business

It's been a busy but productive week of work. I finished all my work this week a day early thanks to a request for the population of downtown Phoenix being impossible. Apparently most of the downtown populace is in prison. Statistics about them is not exactly going to give insight into urban living patterns huh?

Bought a CD this morning. The soundtrack to The Last Kiss. To those who like indie rock it's pretty good. Those who hate Zach Braff and all he touches.... I'd say you should pass. Unless of course you're trying something new.

Either way there's this Remy Zero song on the album that is really awesome. I normally don't like Remy Zero. Aren't they the band that does the annoying Smallville theme song? Uch. Apparently they decided to write at least one awesome song. It's called Prophecy. I predict it will worm its way onto many a playlist for me.

Which brings up a habit of mine: I get hooked on certain songs and then I make playlists and 2/3 of the songs are the same. I have to fight to put new things on the playlists. I'm like a crappy radio DJ or something. Or whatever the title is of the person at the radio station who selects the playlists.

Songs that are on more than one playlist:
Artist- song:
Liz Phair- Supernova
Aretha Franklin- The House That Jack Built
David Bowie- Ziggy Stardust
Marvin Gaye- Mercy Mercy Me
Marvin Gaye- What's Going On (Two Marvin Gaye songs cause I have a soul playlist and a protest song playlist)


Ok... I guess it wasn't that bad. Maybe I just listen to certain playlists a lot. Those are all good songs too. I have no ending for this rambling post that probably should have been two or three seperate posts....
Oh and I know I'm late to this party but dude... Rufus Wainwright is fantastic.

Weekend fun

So sadly I did not do much this weekend.... again.
Friday, I went to a Diamondbacks game with a co-worker. He had free tickets and offered so, what the hell why not? I guess that was fun. I should have gone out drinking afterwards but I chickened out.... again.
Saturday I played video games and watched/listened to college football. Again I should have gone out to the bars but I chickened out and watch 40 year old virgin on dvd which I had never seen. How's that for lame? I don't go out and I watch that particular movie...
It was funny though. I'm glad I got to see it finally. But I do wish I had gone out instead.
Sunday I slept in, ate breakfast, took a shower and then went to an early movie.
Saw The Last Kiss with Zach Braff. Pretty good movie. I really didn't like Braff's character but that's good for a change. He got what he deserved for his actions though and not in a lame morality play kind of way. In a more like real life kind of way. Nice to see that in a movie too.
After that I hung out at Barnes and Noble for a few hours. I almost hit on the Starbucks girl, but i was worried she might be in high school. That's a good general rule to follow: If she looks like she might be in high school, walk away.
Then I drove over to Target and bought a present for my friend whose birthday dinner was last night.
Went back home. Chilled out till it was time to go. Watched some Kill Bill and fed the dogs.
Birthday dinner was fun, but I talked to fricking much, again. And the single female friends of friends who I hoped would show did not. Sigh... instead just pretty wives of good friends. Everyone was fun to talk to but I gurantee people driving home complained about how I would never shut the fuck up. I wish I could control that better. Afterwards I always feel like crap because of that habit.

Not quite crash and burn

In the last three weeks, my fiance/girlfriend of the last seven years dumped me, I've temporarily moved to my parent's house until she moves to California and my cat's gone nuts.
Considering all that, I'm doing pretty good.
So good in fact that I tried to get back in the old dating saddle again. Granted I feel like I'm 15 and I have temporarily lost what little social acumen I have. But even attempting to start dating again, to me, is a pretty cool.
There was a cute girl at work. Thanks to some basic googling I found she has a lot of the same interests as I do. I had another co-worker find me a mole from which to get info. I'm feeling good, thinking this might actually work out.
Then.... my mole gets back to me. Cute Girl has a boyfriend already. Apparently, it's pretty serious.
Oh well.
At least I didn't have to ask and then get shot down. And.... I personally didn't get shot down. She already had a boyfriend. She's not rejecting me. She's stating the circumstances. Not too shabby. I turned a loss into a win. I think...
So watch out cute girls who are at least a little bit nerdy.. I'm free and I'm apparently crazy enough to ask people out on dates again. (Do people even date anymore? what's this "hooking up" thing I've heard so much about on the interwebs? kidding) The world may never be the same.

Huzzah

Public blog... Gooo!
If you are here, I either told you this address or you randomly came across the site.
Those who know me... it will just be me blabbing.
Those who do not know me.... maybe you will find it interesting, maybe not.