Whoa there.. where's the fire?

I reaffirm the belief that dating is a difficult process. So on Sunday, after date #1 with MP, I saw she had sent me an email telling she had a great time. Standard stuff I believe.
I responded, said I had a great time too and would love to go out again sometime next week. I said I had some ideas and she could feel free to call me if she liked.
She called me. That night.
Luckily I was driving to my parents house and I had an excuse not to talk. It weirded me out to have her call so soon after I left her my number.
(For those wondering the reason she didn't have my number before this point: my phone was broken and thus I had no phone for her to call. Phone replaced on Sunday.. thus phone number provided)
I assured myself I was overreacting and it would be no big deal. I told her I would call her back. I didn't specify when.
I decided I would call her on Monday. Maybe I should have waited. I dunno. I just wanted to lock down plans so it wouldn't be all floating around there and what not.
Got a hold of her that night. We nailed down some plans. Movie.. probably dinner, a good time estimate, etc. Talked a bit longer afterwards about general nonsense. Getting to know you kind of stuff still.
The conversation was quality-stuff I'll admit. I felt like I was being myself the whole time. That's important to me. I don't want to change who I am for someone else.
Today she sent an email. For those keeping track, that means she's communicated with me in some form every day since the date. On the one hand, clearly she's interested and it's enjoyable being pursued for once. On the other hand, I'm not looking to jump back into a relationship any time soon.
I joked with Marcia at work today that I think I should at least go on 7 dates with 7 different women before I decide to start getting in monogamous relationships again. You know, one for each year I was with my ex. Really, it's being conservative I think.
I'm not saying I want to sleep with seven different women. Just go on some dates. See what's out there. I don't know if MP understands that. I'll have to be more clear I think. I said I didn't want to get into a serious relationship any time soon. Maybe I should just say I don't want to get into a relationship, i.e. boyfriend/girlfriend style, at all.
And yes I'll do that before I sleep with her. C'mon. Did you really think I was that kind of guy?

There's another girl that's responded on Match. Someone who didn't say the last book they read was anything by Dan Brown. I swear to God... if I talk to someone or read someone's profile that says Angels and Demons or the Da Vinci Code is the last thing they read or it's their FAVORITE book...GEEEEARGHHH! Speaking of reading, I need to remember to bring the new Pynchon book I bought home from work. I keep leaving it on my desk. It's actually going to be out in stores by the time I remember.

That's more like it

Different girl, different first date. But before I go into details about last night, I will explain how it happened in the first place.
At some point I realized my friends are not the most proactive people in the world when it comes to setting me up on dates. Considering my own inability to approach women at a bar or some such place, I decided to do something I never thought I would do: sign up for an online dating service.
::cue organs, a woman screams::
A week or so after I joined, I got an email from someone. We chatted via email for a few days. It turns out this girl graduated from the same high school as me. We even graduated from the same class. Now I have no recollection of her, try as I might to remember. She remembers me though. A scary thought because I can't imagine what about me was memorable in high school.
Anywho, for the sake of anonymity we will call her MP from now on.
The emails were good. A quality mix of getting to know you stuff and light hearted banter. I asked if she wanted to go out this weekend. She agreed. I suggested the State Fair which I had never been to before. She agreed.
Breaking online dating protocol, I picked her up at her house. MP was ok with that since she knew me from high school and was fairly certain I wasn't a psycho killer. I got there a little early so she wasn't quite ready yet. I was happy cause she looked cute. Her house is really nice. Tiny for a house but certainly much bigger than my apartment. It's also cool she owns her own place. While she finished getting ready, I snooped around her house, picking up ideas for conversation later that night.
I didn't have to wait long before she was ready. We talked while I drove us to the fair, bouncing around from topic to topic, pets, family, work, etc. We were both shocked at how much one had to pay for parking. One place was charging $20!! For parking!! We paid half that. Still highway robbery as far as I am concerned. Tickets were $10 each. So to get into the door cost $30 for both of us. Is ok though. I really only paid slightly more than your average dinner and a movie night.
We walked around a bit, just taking the place in. Ate corn dogs and sodas for dinner. Went on the sky tram thing, then the giant ferris wheel and finally a mini roller coaster that had spinning cars. We walked around a lot too and talked. It was good. I enjoyed it. She was interesting, didn't seem crazy or annoying. A little scary that she didn't seem bored about my stories. Ripped off a few Fogg tales from college which are always amusing. After two hours or so we decided any more time at the fair would require more money and she was kind enough to say that wouldn't be necessary before I even had a chance to lament my wallet's status.
Drove her back to her place. Then, she asked me in. wait... she actually asked if I wanted to come in. I said yes, of course. I wasn't planning anything more than a good night kiss and a drive home. But heck.. why not?
We got inside and we talked some more. She had a weird water container that seemed to defy gravity. There has to be a reason why that thing didn't work. It kinda distracted me. Then we talked a bit about how not being able to know certain facts can drive me crazy until I get the answers. I brought up another example and she actually pulled out her laptop and helped me find the answer. Most people would find this weird. I found it hot. She popped in The Incredibles because I had mentioned that I loved that movie. Kind of her.
Then movie on, sitting on the couch together. Time to make my move right? Wrong.
My stomach starts hurting something fierce, like that corn dog was seeking revenge on me for eating it. I excused myself to the bathroom. I couldn't go a full-fledged deuce at her house. Not on the first date. Realizing my personal situation was going to require medication, a few hours in a bathroom and other unfun things, I had to call it a night.
I went back in the living room and sat down. I told MP that I was going to kiss her but I really feel sick to my stomach and I thought that it might be best for me to go home for the night. She was very understanding. Walked me out to my car. We kissed goodnight. And it may be because I haven't had any physical contact in a while, but the kiss was extremely good. I hope she felt the same way. She definitely is a cool girl. I cursed the heavens for making me ill and drove home.
I'll definitely call/email her today or tomorrow to let her know what a good time I had. Hopefully we'll go out again soon and my stomach won't betray me. The date made me happy for other reasons too. I didn't have any crazy thoughts like wanting to get into a relationship with her right away or insanely thinking I loved her already. Very good. I'm a bit emotional and tend to jump ahead before I should. The fact that I didn't do that makes me feel better about the whole dating thing.

Nerds!!!

Ok here's a little something I've probably spent the last 12 years of my life or so thinking about. It's still a work in progress :)

It's my definitions of the various terms for social outcasts.

Nerds
Nerds are individuals with above average intellect and an obsessive devotion to any subject or topic. For the typical nerd this means video games, comic books, science fiction, computers or technology or any variation/combination of these general areas. Nerdiness as a trait is spreading more into the mainstream. Fantasy Football and fantasy sports in general is an example of this. It's the nerdification of sports.

Nerds tend to overanalyze and overthink most situations. It's what makes them nerds. The same trait that enables a 26 year old male to follow the geneology of the Summers family in the X-men comic books allows him to suss it out why the wireless network is down in the office.

Nerds can associate somewhat with others. They usually find their lives handicapped in some way due to their lack of social acumen. There are exceptions but they are rare.

Perfect famous person example: Al Gore. Dude... what a nerd. He basically didn't win the presidency of the United States cause he was a giant nerd.

Dorks
Dorks, in most cases, are mutually exclusive from nerds. Dorks are the guys you knew in high school who were involved in athletics but were always on the JV team, even as seniors. In college, they usually joined the lamer fraternities or snuck on as hangers on of cooler friends. Dorks are usually of average intelligence. They lack the physical presence to be athletes. Dorks do not have winning, compelling personalities. They're not pure losers though. They have some talents.

More than any other social outcast class, they wish to not be an outcast. So they will do almost anything to be part of the normal non-outcast world.
Dorks tend to have guile. They excel as the people behind the scenes. Since they're always on the edge they tend to know the ebbs and flows of the popular crowds better than the popular people themselves. This skill is simultaneously what keeps them out of but near the circles of power. They're necessary but dorks are hard to trust.

Perfect example: (sorry to go political again but most political advisors are dorks) Karl Rove. Complete dork. There's no way he was athletic enough to be a star athlete. He's not attractive enough to skate by on looks alone. And while he's good at manipulating opinion, there's not a lot of people who go around bragging how he's their good friend. More like they brag that he's a weapon that can be used.

Geeks
Geeks are SuperNerds. They are extremely intelligent and completely lacking in social skills. Many geeks are afflicted with symptoms of autism or Asperger's Syndrome. Geeks are the people nerds go to if they can't find the solution to a technical problem.

You know the geeks in your workplace. It's the IT guy who never becomes management cause he can't handle people as well as servers. He may have problems with personal hygiene because he doesn't see it as important. Most people avoid them or fear them cause they're hard to understand and may be kind of stinky. Nerds will describe geeks with many laudatory terms but secretly are happy they're not that far gone socially.

Famous geeks: Stephen Hawking? Even then he may have too many social skills to be a geek. It's hard to find famous geeks cause most geeks are too immersed in their own world to be famous in the first place.

Losers
Losers lack social skills, are of average or below average intelligence, aren't attractive and possess few physical talents. The utter lack of redeeming traits doesn't necessary make them losers. It's the result of those traits. Losers are easily led from one task to the next. They're easy to fool and coerce because they lack the social skills or intelligence to see through most ruses.

The biggest thing that makes losers who they are is a lack of drive to accomplish or do anything. Even people who have few redeeming qualities can make something of themselves through effort. People who are more likely to become losers have to put more effort into life than most to accomplish something, to not be losers.

In some cases, people become losers by squandering gifts they do have such as good looks, intelligence, exceptional talents or the ability to get along well with others.

Famous Loser: Ryan Leaf- dude could have been a multi-millionare stud as a starting quarterback in the NFL. Gave it all up to be a colossal loser. He had all the phyiscal talents but no drive to do much with it or his life in general.

That's it for now on definitions. I've given it a lot of thought but I'm still not sure how people enter most of these catagories in the first place. Are you born a dork, nerd, geek or loser? I'm almost positive that losers are made not born but what about the other three? I'd love to hear people's thoughts on this one. I'll probably spend a lot more time thinking about it on my own anyways.

I think no matter how much you change as you grow older, being a social outcast as a child or adolescent stays with you. It's something that is intrinsic to who you are as a person. Being on the outside changes your perspective. It changes what you value in life, your goals and how you go about achieving them. This is not a value judgement. It is what it is.

er... this is gone on pretty long. I'll stop for now, chill out and listen to the rest of Takk.

How do you like your steak?

I went to a concert tonight. The main attraction was a Japanese punk bank called Peelander-Z.
It may have been the most fun I've had at a concert since.... 2 Skinny Js back in Columbia my freshman year in college.
Doors opened at 8. I was there around 8:30. It was sadly empty. Maybe 5 people other than the band or Modified Arts staff. There were discussions about changing the take the band got of the door due to the low turnout. This had the stink of failure all over it. Some arrangement was made that the band would play two shows, one at Modified and then another at the Trunk Space? at midnight.
Anywho...
Bored bored bored waiting to hear the band. Then finally... things start happening.
The band members wear these insane outfits that are essentially like something out of the Power Rangers but no helmets.
It's clearly punk music cause they barely know how to play their guitars. But what they lack in musical talent they more than make up for with raw enthusiasm.
Audience participation is necessary. At some point everyone in the crowd of like 25 people were pounding on pots and pans that were passed out by the band. During the bowling song/event, the band gave their instruments to audience members who fumbled around playing while the band members set up bowling pins and then had one band member use the other as a bowling ball.
It was a ton of fun even though the crowd was so small. The band was really cool and totally sold this ridiculous concept. For $6, I had more than my money's worth.
So to the ...4? people who read this blog... if you find out that Peelander-Z is playing in your area, go. Bring tons of friends. Cause it may be the most ridiculous/insane/childish/giggle-worthy concert you've ever attended.


The correct answer to the post title is Medium Rare apparently. We had to shout this numerous times during the Steak song. Yes... the steak song.

You're Just Playing the Part

Tried to start running again this week. That didn't work. I'm so out of shape it's pathetic. I'll go back to lifting. I might do stationary bike instead for a while. I need some kind of cardio.
Starting writing again this week. It's going ok. I have some ideas in my head that I need to get out. As long as I get five pages done a week I'll feel good about it.
Outlaw's been driving me crazy lately. Very ADD. Though at least the last two nights she let me sleep. On Monday she woke me up at 5 a.m. On Tuesday it was 4 a.m. She's lucky she's still among the living after Tuesday.
Friday is payday. Thank Jeebus. I can pay my parents back for the loan they gave me and I can buy groceries and go out or what not. This two week a paycheck thing is going to take some getting used to.
Got a forwarding address for the ex. I have to buckle down and get a box of her stuff out to her. She asked for me to make sure I include any correspondence from her previous employer. I don't remember seeing anything. I'm slightly worried that I may have tossed it by accident.
Well I'll send her what I have. Not looking forward to that task. Just getting the email from her put me in a funk for a day or two.

Date #1

Getting back into the whole dating scene=difficult. That's the lesson I learned from Date #1.
It's not that it went bad. I think it went well. Girl #1 was cute, I think conversation came easily, she seems interesting and we're looking for the same thing. Why did I think it was difficult?

1. I was nervous
2. While she was attractive, I wasn't really turned on at all...
3. I'm finding it difficult to strike the appropriate balance between being friendly and wanting to get into her pants/dress.

Not that I made a fool of myself. Heck I don't think I did anything risky at all. Maybe that's why #2 never happened. I played it very safe.

The problem is this:
I'm not the kind of person who's going to sleep with someone he just met. At the same time, I don't want a serious relationship. So how/when do I get physical? I don't want to mislead women who want a relationship just to sleep with them. I don't want to hit the bars and sleep with random women. I don't want to end up in the friend zone either. grrr...

That and girl #2, who I really think is hot, hasn't responded since I asked her out. Meh..
This shit is hard work.

Bored bored bored

At times I hate being idle. Today is one of those days.
Tuesday night is World of Warcraft night for me and the guys. It's the only night I play. Even though I'm completely burned out from the game I still play because I want to hang out with everyone. It's basically a $15/month interactive chat room.
Tonight I got on a bit later cause traffic was horrible. This made me miss out on the group finishing this quest I needed to complete.
Then the A's lost 5-1 to the Tigers in Game One of the ALCS, while I was waiting around for another group on WoW. Which never happened. Or at least not until it was too late for me. I don't like starting big deal instance runs at 9:30. I'm a wussy and like to be in bed around 10 or 11 on work nights, with the occasional exception.
Also I missed Veronica Mars, or at least 95% of it. Again because of WoW. This is going to be an issue for me. I need to find a reliable source to download episodes of this show. It's really one of the few shows I really try to watch. WoW night is Tuesday cause that's the only time everyone can get together. So Stealing TV it is!
But now I got out of WoW because of the time and I'm not sleepy. And I'm bored. Thus mindless blogging. I say mindless cause there's no real point to writing any of this other than it's giving me something to do.
Quiet you who say that's all blogging is anyway. Ok I give up. I'll go read a book till I get sleepy.

It helps to pay attention

When using personals on Craigslist and age is a factor, it is important to notice the age of posters before responding to their ads. I did not follow this rule. Apparently BOTH women I'm dating are considerably younger than I am (five or more years). Now.. the deeper question is this: Why is this a bad thing?

With younger women it will be far too easy for me to slip into some.. superiority complex. Which is ridiculous of course. Why does my age make my superior? It doesn't. In fact when I was younger I used to get pissed when people did this very thing to me. Ok. I will not do that. I'm aware of it and can thus supress it.

Also though it is only five years there could be less to talk about. Are they in school still? Probably. Whoa.. dating college girls. That kind of makes me feel lame and cool all at the same time.

It could be a good thing too, dating younger women. Besides the ..ahem... obvious benefits. I'm not ready to jump right into a relationship again. I want to see what's around first. I think more women my age are looking for a relationship (of course, this is generalizing and I could totally be wrong here because honestly what do I know about women as a group? Not much)

Why stress about any of this? This is stupid on my part. I just want to have fun. No pressure. No worries. No making long-term plans. No sitting by computers or phones waiting for responses.
Take it as it comes. All Zen and shit.

Alright. I feel better now. Thanks blog!

Not going on upstairs

So one of my best friends talked to me last weekend. She told me that her fiance is graduating from college soon and would like me to attend. She also says she has to email me the information about it. "Call me on Tuesday if I haven't told you be then. Otherwise I'll forget," is what she tells me.
Considering how urgently she wanted me to receive the info I assumed ( yeah I know, this is where the problem comes in) that it was THIS Sunday.
I rush around to get ready, putting on a shirt and tie and what not, then hustle my ass over to Glendale. Apparently the Cardinals have a home game today. I kept telling cops there was this graduation thing I HAD to go to and they just didn't know about it. (Boy am I dumb?) Then I finally weasel my way into a parking lot near the arena. Walk up the arena, pull on the doors. They're locked. I call my friend and ask her where I need to be. She says at home dummy. The ceremony is NEXT Sunday.
This moment of idiocy brought to you by my scatter brain.

Oh but good news:
I have a real live actual date on Thursday. And I'm talking to a different woman who is pretty cool so far as well. Hopefully a date will be happening with her soon too.
Thursday is with a 20 year old blonde. Taking her to a Japanese place that sounds pretty cool to me. Crossing my fingers that it will be fun.
The other woman is 28 and a brunette. She's really interesting to me so far. Very pretty as well as easy to talk to.
More as this develops.