I Have A Hard Time Taking the Easy Way

Sorry for the lack of a hangover post. I think I slept through my hangover. I normally don't sleep in but I didn't get out of bed yesterday until 11 something. Which is definitely sleeping in for me.

So my life is a whirlwind of turmoil right now. I still need to figure out why the fuck Qwest thinks I owe them money even though I canceled my phone service ages ago. Yet another potential living situation fell through. This one really pissed me off. Just to recap:

1) Living with my fiance.
2) Fiance leaves me. Live with my parent for a month while she gets her shit together.
3) She never gets her shit together so I kick her out and force her to move to SF.
4) Living in my apartment which is now just barely affordable by moi.
5) Find an apartment near my job that I can afford cause I'm poor.
6) My brother suggests I move in with him and his GF. We go house/townhouse shopping and everything.
7) Brother tells me the option will no longer work.
8) I find out that I actually am not poor enough to afford the apartment near my job.
9) My cousin tells me a friend of hers from work needs a roommate.
10) I talk to cousin's friend. She is amiable to the idea. Her ex hasn't moved out though so... I have to call her and find out when that occurs.
11) After a week of calling her everyday and becoming more frantic when I haven't heard back from her, I call my cousin. Cousin tells me that her flaky ass douchebag of a friend has decided she doesn't want to live with a guy after all. Fucker. WHY NOT FUCKING TELL ME THAT BY RETURNING ONE OF THE FUCKING CALLS I MADE TO YOUR CELL PHONE!!?!??? JEEBUS!
12) Work on breathing and not going into a murderous rage. Wish I had a metal broom handle to bash into a defunct playground like I used to do when I was a teenager and I got really angry.
13) Sign up on roommates.com cause I've come to grips with the fact that I'm too poor to live alone. Damnit.
14) Place responses to a series of ads. Arrange to see some places today and this week.

So that's where I am right now with finding a roof over my head for me and Outlaw. There's a place I really really want. But because I'm me and because things never work out I won't get that place. Noooo I'll have to live FARTHER away because I have no choice. I wanted to get rid of my commute not make it longer. But at this point I will settle for more money by getting cheaper rent. I refuse to pay more than $500 a month before utilities. Cause otherwise it's not enough of a savings from my current place. This should be possible.
But the place I really want (which, again, I won't get because I'm me and I don't get what I want) is this loft downtown. Right by work. It would be sweet. It was just bought by this guy who travels a lot and just wants someone who he won't have to worry about trashing the place when he's gone and can keep the place up. That's me. But like I said, it's not going to happen. I don't get the things I really want. With the exception of my current job. That was total shit luck though.
Things I've wanted that I don't get to have:
1) Enough money to not be considered poor.
2) A cool apartment near where I work so I don't have to commute a ton.
3) Sex
4) An attractive girl who enojys my company and enjoys sleeping with me and whom I feel the same way about. (heh not going to happen)
5) A Wii.

Feels better to get that out. I think I'll take a shower, brush my teeth, get dressed, throw some laundry in the machine and play FFXII till it's time to check out my first potential new place.