The Collapse of Thought

Weekend Wrapup:
Slept in on Saturday morning. The fuzziness of waking up eluded me for far longer than usual. By the time I rolled myself into alertness, the Tigers had essentially finished beating the snot out of the hated Jayhawks.

Saturday afternoon I went over to Steve's parents house and hung out for the rest of the day with Steve, Heather and Steve's little sister Anne. Anne's boyfriend Tim asked Anne to marry her. Very sweet and also good news. Tim's a great guy and Anne seems very happy with him.

Steve can't drink for six/nine months. He's taking medication because he was exposed to TB at some point in his Navy tours of duty or what not. If he drinks, he risks giving himself chemically induced Hepatitis. Sucks to be Steve and for this weekend, sucked to be me. Can't very well go get drunk with your best friend if he can't drink without giving himself the hep now can we?

Went home around 11. Saw an email from Girl #3 arrived. She apologized for the delay but I didn't really care anymore anyway. Not about her. Still think she's pretty cool. I just don't care about all the scenery. Do I want a relationship? Do I not want one? Should I be happy when someone responds or calls back? Frankly, it's quite tedious and it wears me out. I'm happier just being me and let the chips fall where they may. I remember now that's the point.

Work today was odd. I got things done. I just didn't feel all there. Hours floated by. Ideas keep drifting through my head. Stories I need to write and I don't mean for work. When I imagine writing out the stories, they become cliche or pat. Sentimental or boring. Not as interesting as when they're just ideas. The confident part of myself tells me I need to write them.

My birthday is rapidly approaching and emotionally I'm closer to 7 than 27. Does anyone ever grow up? What does it mean to do so? How can we tell when we've crossed the line?